


now or never now

by Ethereally



Category: Fire Emblem Series, Fire Emblem: Fuukasetsugetsu | Fire Emblem: Three Houses
Genre: F/F, Overcoming Trauma Together, Past Abuse, Post-Black Eagles Route (Fire Emblem: Three Houses), they're in love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-21
Updated: 2019-12-21
Packaged: 2021-02-26 04:21:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,323
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21887359
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ethereally/pseuds/Ethereally
Summary: Edelgard has always feared deep water, but with Dorothea, there's nothing that she can't conquer.Or: Edelgard asks Dorothea to take her to the sea.
Relationships: Dorothea Arnault/Edelgard von Hresvelg
Comments: 12
Kudos: 87





	now or never now

**Author's Note:**

  * For [indevan](https://archiveofourown.org/users/indevan/gifts).



Edelgard is shaking as she grips Dorothea's arm; Dorothea wraps her shawl around both of them, pulling her girlfriend in closer. The salty smell of the ocean and the sound of waves lapping against the beach would normally be soothing to Dorothea. However, Edelgard's terror permeates through any sense of peace that Dorothea might have had-- she can sense panic in the way Edelgard shrinks under the shawl, and the way her hold on Dorothea tightens as she takes another tentative step towards the water. Dorothea turns towards Edelgard, her voice gentle.

"We can stop here if you want," she says. Much as she has scoffed at nobility and their unnecessary riches in the past, Dorothea is glad that Ferdinand's family has their own private beach in Aegir territory. She can't imagine what it might be like for the two of them to be doing this on a public beach near Port Deirdru, onlookers gaping wide-eyed and slack-jawed as the Emperor of Adrestia hobbles terrified towards the water. Dorothea leans down to press a soft kiss on Edelgard's forehead.

"Don't force yourself, Edie. You're already doing great. It's very brave of you to be facing your fears like this, you know."

Edelgard shakes her head. She pulls herself up straight, clearing her throat as though she is about to give a speech addressing the nation. "I'll be alright," she says, though Dorothea can still hear trembling in her voice. "After all, you're here with me."

Dorothea smiles encouragingly. "Of course. Just let me know if you need to stop at any moment, okay? I'm here for you."

Edelgard nods. "Thank you, Dorothea. I appreciate this." She takes another step towards the ocean, letting go of Dorothea's arm and the shawl along with it. "This must seem so silly to you. Rationally, I know that water will not harm me. And yet--"

"Fear isn't meant to be rational," Dorothea says in return. She kicks off her slip-on shoes, relishing the warm, grainy feeling of sand underneath her feet. It isn't as though she can't see where Edelgard is coming from. This is the Emperor who has toppled a corrupt church regime and united a continent once broken, with the poise and grace befitting someone of her title, but at the end of the day, Edelgard is still vulnerable, _still human_. And when she'd leaned in to whisper about her hatred of deep waters one night, when the lights were down and they were under the covers, no titles or facades, just Edie and Dorothea, in love-- tears had been streaming down Edelgard's cheeks, and Dorothea had reassured her that what she felt was perfectly normal. It makes sense, given everything that Edelgard has been through, that there is _something_ she’s afraid of. Dorothea had a difficult childhood, but she knows her pain is incomparable to Edelgard's; not secondary in volume, not greater or lesser, but different. Edelgard carries hurt that Dorothea can't hope to understand, and the same applies in reverse.

And here is Edelgard, taking strides towards the wide expanse of water, attempting to combat those fears one by one. The bright rays of the afternoon sun cast a shadow upon Edelgard, painting a picture that is determined, resolute, dauntless. Dorothea can't help but wonder if there's anything Edelgard isn't capable of. She bends down to pick up her shoes, staying a few paces behind Edelgard as she continues to make her way towards the sea. Much as she has always wanted to walk with Edelgard, not behind her, there are some things best conquered alone. 

Besides, even if they are here for a relatively serious reason, Dorothea can now let herself stand back and enjoy the view. The clear water and everlasting waves are something out of a picture book, or one of Ignatz's paintings. There's no end to the beach that stretches across the ground in a vast expanse. It's a sobering reminder that no matter who they are, or what she and Edelgard have accomplished, they are but two mere humans in the grand scheme of existence. They're two people just fortunate enough to be born in the right place to one day shatter the Church of Seiros, and at the right time to do it together. 

Dorothea smiles, watching Edelgard slip out of the cover-up sash she's wearing over her crimson bathing suit, tossing the fabric to the ground. It was during one of their late-night conversations that Edelgard had revealed she was self-conscious about the scars she'd gotten from the Crest experiments, but not about the ones she'd gotten from battle. A slash across her shoulder, and a lightning scar down her right thigh-- each and every mark on Edelgard is perfect, a sum of everything that makes her Edie who she is today. Edelgard turns to face Dorothea, taking a deep breath.

"I'm here," Edelgard says, standing at the edge of the ocean. "You mentioned that I won't drown if I stay near the edge?" While Edelgard is no longer shaking, Dorothea can still hear her panic with the way she mumbles, and how her gaze is downcast. 

Dorothea shakes her head. "Nope! You can wade into the water. It should just hit your ankles if you stay close to shore."

Edelgard nods solemnly. "Please don't stray too far from me. I feel safe when you're close by." With that, Edelgard slips her shoes off, setting them aside. She turns back to Dorothea, taking a deep breath before she dips her leg into the ocean. 

Dorothea lets out a cheer of pride as one foot sinks into the crystalline waves, and then another, crying louder as the other foot follows. The water crashes against Edelgard's ankles as she stares down at the sea. Dorothea can barely begin to imagine what she's thinking about. Edelgard has never explained the full extent of what Those Who Slither In The Dark did to her, and Dorothea doesn't ever expect her to, but she suspects that her fear of deep water, and of dark places, might have something to do with that. She approaches Edelgard, relishing the feeling of the turquoise waves as they swish around her feet. 

"Mind if I join you?" she asks, taking both Edelgard's hands in hers. 

"Thank you," Edelgard says. She gives Dorothea's hands a gentle squeeze in return. "It... It isn't as bad as I thought it would be. This part of the ocean, that is. I don't think I could go very much farther in-- at least, not today." Edelgard smiles. "I think this is enough adventure for now." 

"You did great," Dorothea says, gently bumping her nose against Edelgard's. "I've always loved the sea. All of that vastness and danger and potential is kind of exciting, you know? But when the weather is warm and you can feel the waves crash against you-- the ocean feels like a friend. A rowdy girl who just wants to play."

"Danger and potential, huh?" Edelgard mulls over the words, a small smile quirking at the edge of her lips. 

"Strong and dangerous and powerful," Dorothea winks. The more she describes the ocean out loud, the more it begins to sound just like someone she knows. There's certainly something to be said about how both Edelgard and the ocean can hide such power and turbulence under a calm, inviting surface. However, she isn't quite sure if Edelgard will appreciate the metaphor, so she decides to save it for later. A small wave laps against the two of them, and Dorothea giggles as a spray of water splashes against her face. "We can leave now, if you need to. Or we can stay for as long as you'd like. It's really up to you."

Edelgard's gaze flickers across the horizon, then back towards Dorothea. "A little longer might be nice," she says, resting her head against Dorothea's shoulder. "It doesn't feel so scary. Not when I'm with you."

**Author's Note:**

> thank you [dima](https://archiveofourown.org/users/donniedont) for the idea suggestion and for proofreading this for me. 
> 
> and happy secret seiros joey! yes, dima was in on this the entire time.


End file.
